Sunday, January 17, 2010

New Baby and lots of fears and tears

Today my cousin Sylvia and her husband Guðni became parents to their beautiful new son. He came into this world weighing in at over 8 lbs and was just shy of 21 inches. I am so happy for them and I am so proud of both of them. They have been waiting for this little Prince's arrival for a long time.

My cousin Sylvia is like my little sister. We were all raised together (our Mamma's are sisters), her and my sister have always been the best of friends. I am so sad not to be there for the birth of her first child! I am having such a hard time with all of this today. I am homesick like you would not believe. I have been crying all morning thinking of the fact that I will always miss all of the things that happen because I live an ocean away!

I will never be there for the pregnancies, births, weddings, birthdays, deaths, sicknesses or anything else! What if something happens to my family? I am in a different country and will struggle to get home to them. What if something happens to me? How is my family going to know??? Will Dewayne know how to contact them? What if something happens to him too?? How will my Mamma find out that something happened to me?? Who is going to take care of my children???

My Aunt Sharla is the only family I have here in The States. Yes, I have Dewayne's family...I know! But I am talking about my family! They are who I grew up with and they are who I know. I have never lived near Dewayne's family and don't know them that well. I will get to know them when I move to Chicago. It's not the same thing! Sharla and I are the only family we each have and my move to Chicago takes me further away from her. It hurts to know that I am so far away from her. What if something happens to her? Who is going to call me and let me know??? Who is going to take care of her till I get there???

Sorry! I am just having a little mini crisis here worrying about the what ifs! I think this is just the fear of moving that are taking over. I love Virginia and it scares me to move away to a whole new place where I have no clue where anything is and where I have no friends.

Ok, I will stop now! I need to go cry in a corner now.


Laura said...

I'm sorry Helga, I would definitely feel the same's hard to not be close to your family!! {hugs}

Edda Soffía said...

Ég er að koma til þín Helga mín. Love mamma