The Truth

I want to start out by saying that I am always honest on this blog. Everything that I say/write is the truth. Sometimes I just don't tell the whole truth, just parts of it. I am not a famous blogger, I never took an oath to write everything that happens in my life on this blog. I started this blog for me. I didn't really let anyone know that I had a blog. I wanted to be able to write whatever I wanted without having to worry about who was reading my blog. Eventually people found out, mostly through other people and so forth. I started monitoring what I wrote.

Part of monitoring what I write about is because some of the things that happen are hard for my family in Iceland to read. If I am hurting, it hurts me more to know that my Mamma is worried about me and hurting for me and she is so far away. I guess part of that comes from closing myself off from people too.

Because I have lived so far away from all of my family for so long now, I have kind of become more closed off. I felt I was doing that to protect us all. It hurts to live this far away from everyone you love.

Now it is time to come out and tell some of the story. I say some of the story because, all of the story is not your business (no offense).

I feel like a fake for the post that I wrote on my anniversary last week.

Dewayne and I are not happy!

We have been struggling to hold on to our marriage for a long time.

We separated twice in one year. Each time resulting in a 3 month separation. No one really knew about the second one. I only told my family about the first one because my Mamma saw that the TV was missing out of our living room when I was talking to her on the computer (he took the TV with him).

The second time we separated we went to a marriage counselor and she was great. She helped us learn a lot of ways to fight fairly (yes, fight fair!!!) and she also taught us how to speak to each other properly and learn to respect each other again. This marriage counselor was wonderful....too bad she lives in VA Beach and we now live in Illinois!!!

The thing is.....

Even with the marriage counselors help, we were struggling.

I love the man with all my heart but we think that it is best for us to separate.

I am going to move back to Iceland. I leave the states on April 20th and get to Iceland on April 21st.

This was a hard decision to make but I have all of my family there and I have a house and a car there. Here I have nothing and I don't know anyone here in Illinois. I have no job and we have one car between us that I can't afford to pay for by myself.

I have decided that I am going to start school in the fall and get my degree. Right now the plan is to go to Law school.

The boys are handling this good, they are excited at the idea of moving back home and living near family again. Kobe is going to have a really hard time because he is such a Daddy's boy. Dewayne will get Kobe every summer and I will have him during the winter.

We are trying to iron out the small details but the plane tickets have been bought and the decision has been made.

We are going our separate way!!!