Monday, June 14, 2010

Fear

When I was little I was fearless.  There was nothing I couldn´t do and there was nothing I was afraid to try.  Today that is a totally different story.  It feels like the older I get the more afraid I get... 

I am afraid of heights, I have never been afraid of heights before.  Now everything about heights scared me to death.

I am afraid of stairs.  When walking down the stairs I am afraid that I might fall down and when I am walking up I am afraid I might trip and fall up the stairs (that has happened to my Grandmother and it was really bad, she broke her collar bone).  I am scared to death if the boys are playing around stairs.  I imagine the scariest possibilities when it comes to the boys and stairs.

I am afraid of fire.  I feel like I have a legit reason for this though....my sisters house burned 4 years ago and it was really tragic.  The family dog died in the fire and they lost everything they owned.  Everyone in the family was safe.  Now I am scared to death of fires, I always make sure my smoke detectors are good and I have woken up more than once thinking that I smell smoke.

I am afraid of elevators because of a story I heard about Dewayne´s cousin.  He was 7 years old and he was standing in front of the door waiting for the elevator to arrive when the doors opened and he fell to his death because there was no elevator there.  I won´t let the boys stand anywhere near elevator doors and I am constantly afraid that the doors are going to open and someone is going to fall through them.  I am also just afraid that the elevator is going to come crashing down or I am going to get stuck in one.

I am really claustrophobic.  I have always been claustrophobic but this fear has gotten worse over the years.  I start to have mini panic attacks just thinking about tight quarters.  If I see someone in a costume (think Barney the big purple dinosaur) my chest tightens and I start to panic just a little bit.  If I try on a shirt or a dress that is too tight in the chest then I freak out and everyone that knows me knows to pull the clothing off NOW!!! 

I am afraid of strange animals.  I used to be an animal lover and now I am too scared to come near any animal I don´t know.  Strange cats give me the creeps because they could scratch me or they could have lice or something gross on them.  Strange dogs could also have lice or they could attack me or the boys.

Wow, I think I might be starting to sound like a bit of a mad woman.  I am not freaking out every second of the day.  I do not share my fears (except the clothing being too tight) with anyone.  I have just realized that the older I get the more fearful I get.  How is this going to end?  Am I gonna be locked in a house too scared to leave because something could happen to me?  I can understand people who feel that way now...I am not gonna end that way though LOL

Now that I have made myself sound like a lunatic I am going to stop :o) 


Before I go though....


Do you have any fears????

5 comments:

Dagbok Huldar said...

Now I do, fear of having as many fears as you . LOL :) Of course we all do. The height thing...roller coaster....

3LittleMonkeys said...

Yes, I have a few fears too. I am clausterphobic too! I hate flying. I am deathly afraid of spiders. These fears seem to be getting worse as I get older. Maybe because I want to protect my kids and also be around for them!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
怡婷 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laura said...

I have SO many fears too and they started after I had my kids, it's horrible. My mom tells me to worry less and pray more...I'm working on that! :)