Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Not really in the mood

I have been really crazy busy since I got to Iceland.  I want it this way and I need it this way.  I don't want to sit and think about anything.  I want to be so tired at night that when I lay down to go to sleep, I fall asleep without thinking about anything.  I'm afraid that if I start to think about what is going on that I will just start crying and never stop.  I'm afraid that I will get depressed and not be able to take care of my boys.

I have been going non-stop for a week and a half now and I am really tired right at this moment.  I am physically and mentally exhausted.  The boys are really tired too.  They haven't been going to sleep early enough and it is starting to take its toll on them.  They want to stay up late every night and I understand that it is exciting to do that but the poor things need to get their sleep.  They have had an attitude all day and both look like they could fall asleep standing up!  I made them go to sleep at 9:30 tonight and you would have thought I was hurting them because they were so upset with me.   They need this though and they will be thankful in the morning.

I spent the day with my bestest friend Sigrun yesterday and we had such a good time.  We have gotten together one other time since I moved back and I just love that I have her here.  She is so good for me.  She lets me vent when I need to and she gives me great advice when I need it too.  I love that she listens and she doesn't say anything negative.  I am having a hard time talking about my situation with anyone because I can't stand it if someone talks bad about Dewayne.  I don't want to hear that!  I hate it when I have to start defending him because someone thinks it's okay to tell me they don't like this or that about him.  It is not okay to talk bad about him!!!  He is still my husband and I do love him and I don't want to hear people talk bad about him.  It hurts to hear it.  I'm allowed to say what I want but no one else is allowed to say it!!!

Does that make sense to you guys?  I try to stay neutral when people are upset with their spouse or friend because I don't want them to think after the fact that I have some sort of problem with the person that they are having a problem with because I said something.  Wow, did that just make sense?  

I'm moving on to another subject all together :o)

My title Not in the mood was just meaning that I am not in the mood to blog right now.  Not that I don't want to blog, I just don't really know what to blog about!?!?!?!  I feel a little bit lost and I am happy but not...know what I mean?  I have been having a really good time with family and friends and I am so thankful for would I have done this without them???  They are all keeping me so busy and I love it!!

I left the house before 11 this morning and didn't get back until almost 5 pm.  I went to Reykjavik (the capitol of Iceland...about 30 min away from my house) to go shopping with my cousin.  I didn't do much shopping but I had a great time walking the mall with her and our two little guys.  We ended the trip by going to IKEA....I love that place and had not been since January of 2009 so I was super excited!  I bought a few things for Kobe and I bought a garbage can for the kitchen but that's about it :o)

After I came home I watched my niece and nephew until about 9 pm, my sister is in college and she has finals coming up and her hubby was working.  I made the kids some spaghetti and then another cousin of mine come over with his wife and daughter and they stopped over here for about an hour or so.  He fixed one of my radiators while he was here...he's a plumber :o)  I love being able to call someone if I need help!!!  I have a plumber, electrician and carpenter in the family!!  Can't beat that huh?  

I just realized that for someone who wasn't in the mood to blog I sure did blog a lot huh?  LOL!!!

Now I am going to do a little bit of putting some stuff away.  I still have a ton of stuff to do around the house here.  I have been gone so much that I haven't done much here at all...I'm not worried though, I have forever to do all of this!!

Oh, just a little tooting here but I wanted to tell you that I have lost 5 lbs since I got here :o)  I am super excited!!!  I think I may have lost those 5 lbs at the airport coming here though LOL!!  It was such hard work to get everything and everyone here hahahahaha!! 

I'm done now.  What have you been up to??  I talk so much about myself that I almost forgot about you!!!  I didn't though, thank goodness :o)  Have a great rest of the day/night!


Jamie H said...

I don't envy you right now. I can't imagine what you are going through. It's a complete upheavel! Hang in there, life will settle down eventually.
How are the boys adjusting to being in a whole new country? How different is Iceland from the US? What are the schools like? I've got so many questions!

Dagbok Huldar said...

Eg skil thig svo vel. Mer finnst eg einmitt hafa fullan rett a ad kvarta og kveina yfir Eliasi en enginn annar hefur rett til thess. Enginn annar var i thessu hjonabandi! Godir vinir hlusta, gefa god rad og stydja.
Thu hefur goda ad svo thu verdur i finu lagi og med timanum batnar margt.

Susie said...

What an ordeal! I hope you find peace soon.

I am here to welcome you to SITs! I hope you enjoy the party:-)

Murdock's mama said...

YAY!! It's so good to hear from you! Not being in the mood is totally understandable with everything you have going on right now. Just make sure to check in every once and a while! :) Miss ya!


Pennie said...

How did I miss this post? I honestly didn't see it. I checked to see if you posted, and scrolled down...and here it is!

I know what you mean about not saying anything negative. I can tell you still love Duwayne. I can. You're just better apart. I get that.

Yeah - one of the great advantages of stress...weight loss. I know, I'm down, myself. :) Just a little perk. The silver lining in this cloud. I'm with you!

Wish I could pull up a chair and chat. I really do. Hang in there, sweetie. Change is never easy. Keeping busy does seem to help, though. At least, for a little while.

Thinking of you! (hugs)