In 13 days I leave this country and move to a whole different world. I move to a place where they speak a whole nother language, eat different food, wear a different style of clothes and live a different way of life. Two of my children do not speak the language anymore, they can understand it but they do not speak it. Are they going to be happy there? Is Markus going to be able to speak the language? Is Markus going to be happy there? How is Kobe going to handle being away from his Daddy? How am I going to handle being a single Mom? How am I going to handle this all alone?
I keep asking myself if this is the right decision! I am really nervous about starting all over again. I am really nervous about having to move to Iceland. I love the states and chose to move here and now I am moving away. The main reason why I am moving to Iceland is because my family is there so I will have their support and help. I would never be able to go to school full time in the states being alone with 3 boys. I wouldn't have anywhere to go to start my life if I stayed here in the states. I have had offers from people telling me I could stay with them but I can't live with someone else with 3 boys. That would be too hard on us and too hard on them.
One of the things that I am having such a hard time with is....I can't take my stuff!! I know it is just stuff and it is replaceable but dang it...I love my stuff!!! As I am packing up my things, I keep realizing that I am going to have to leave a lot more stuff than I realized. I am most worried about my scrapbooking stuff, I love to scrapbook and I have A LOT of scrapbooking stuff. I want to take that with me more than anything else. Yesterday I packed the papers in boxes to send to Iceland and I am really afraid that I am not going to be able to send the papers because they will be too heavy.
I sent a box out on Monday that weighed 17 lbs and it cost me $80 to send it. These boxes with papers in them weigh about 30 lbs (at least) each! The thing is, scrapbooking paper is really expensive in Iceland and I don't want to have to start that collection all over again! I am really torn about this!
I have to leave all my Christmas stuff!!! I have such a beautiful collection of Christmas stuff and I am broken hearted to have to leave it behind. I have asked Dewayne to keep my Christmas stuff until I move back stateside (in 6-7 years) but I don't know if he would do that for me. He says he will but who knows what's going to happen in all that time.
Yes, I would like some cheese with my whine!!! I am having a feeling sorry for myself Wednesday! I have to sell all my belongings in two days and I don't know if I can!